Newton and Negativity

"When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad consider: God has made the one as well as the other." Ecclesiastes 7:14

Have you heard the term "Feast or Famine"? Why is it that everything can go your way all at once, or NOTHING can all at the same time? I have had three guys chasing me at once, and then a drout for the last year. I've lived with a lot of money, and also lived paycheck to paycheck putting things back at the grocery store. My calendar has faced several plans forcing erasing and cancelling all on the same day, while also holding useless weekends of laying around being lazy.

The last 2-3 weeks have been extremely busy. I've literally had each day from the time I wake up until bedtime scheduled for the past 3 weeks, and this week will make #4. Maybe that's why I feel up to my neck in stress. Can't wait for the break of spring.

But on top of being busy, I've just had a lot of mini-disasters going on. I won't go into all the details, because on the list includes more than one friend telling me how negative I am...but let's just say...the line at the front of my head has been, "What's next?" Seriously, what ELSE could go wrong this week? So I won't raindown my little black rain cloud upon you...but let me just take a minute to attempt to explain my negativity before I move on.

It's not like I ENJOY being a negative person. And truly, I wouldn't call myself so much negative as I am cynical. And skeptic. I'm very wary of people who never get mad, or sad, or lose their temper. Seems like a fake human to NOT feel those emotions on a regular basis. But at the same time...I could let a lot more in my life go. I could definitely keep my mouth shut more often. And I heard a quote one time about how hate temporarily places you in the ranks with the insane. Sometimes I just have trouble seeing the brightside. Sometimes I'm seeking consolation, wisdom, or validation when I complain. I suppose if I would take a breath, and step back to look at the big picture before opening my mouth...I might not come across so "negative". But if you know me, you know I wear my heart on my sleeve...people rarely have trouble identifying my feelings.

Moving on.

So I had to do a quick research project this week on Isaac Newton so that I would have an example ready for the class. Now just so you know, I only "researched" him for about 30mins so if you have more information...well that's because you, have more information than me. But I thought it interesting that Isaac Newton was so religious. Who knew? In fact, they say he wrote more on Biblical Hermeanutics than he ever did on math and science, yet that is what he's known for. And our modern age loves to keep science and relgion separate. As if it would be impossible for the two to be friends.

I think that idea is a little silly. I showed a video about the Big Bang theory the other day that I had to watch 4 times. I've always thought that the "Big Bang" theory was the devil and completely goes against Biblical teaching. However, do you know what I learned from watching that video four times in a row? The Big Bang theory is basically trying to scientifically say that the universe was formed in an instant. Couldn't God speaking be that very same instant? The video went on to talk about how everything in the universe is set in a specific place with specific speeds and if any of these were to change in the slightest, there would be disaster. Doesnt that sound like God, once again calculating everything so inexplicably specific that only He could be a logical explanation for it all?

"Gravity explains the motions of the planets, but it cannot explain who set the planets in motion. God governs all things and knows all that is or can be done."---Isaac Newton

"Such a wonderful uniformity in the planetary system must be allowed the effect of choice". --Isaac Newton

I'm also still reading this book called, "The Reason for God" by Time Keller. And I just happened to have just finished the science portion...strange?

"Even though the concept of warfare between science and religion still has much popular credence, we should disabuse ourselves the notion that we have to choose between the two, or that if you want to be a Christian you will have to be in conflict with science. A majority of scientists consider themselves deeply or moderately religious."--Tim Keller

"For the record I think God guided some kind of process of natural selection, and yet I reject the concept of evolution as an All-encompassing Theory. One commentator on Genesis captures this balance well:

If "evolution" is...elevated to the status of a world-view of the way things are, then there is direct conflict with Biblical faith. But if "evolution" remains at the level of scientific biological hypothesis, it would seem that there is little reason for conflict between the implications of Christian belief in the Creator and the scientific explorations of the way which--at the level of biology--God has gone about his creating processes.

Couldn't it be that we are just slowly making discoveries about how God made things? While having a discussion about all of this with the 8th graders in my classroom, one of them raised his hand and said it perfectly I think. He said, "Science just explains how God made it."

Windows are rolled down

Is there anything that makes me more restless than a count-down? Geez Louise, 2.5 weeks until spring break. 1 week until finished with photography classes. 2 weeks until finished with Track and therefore coaching this year. 2 months until finished with TAKS testing and Bible study. And 3 months until school is out for summer!

I've made a couple decisions lately, are you proud? Don't get too excited...only a couple. I'm going to a teacher friend's wedding in Mexico this summer. I'm NOT a resort person, but I don't want to miss out...and...I've never even been to a resort, and it's only 4 days. Also, got accepted to the Guatemala team with church...so looking forward to working with teachers there for 10 days.

After that, we'll see...there are options. And we all know how I do with options! Maybe this is why I LOVE restaurants that have like three items on the menu. Less choice. Here are some snapshots of what goes through my mind.............daily.............for your viewing pleasure.

Move to Austin?

 

Move to L.A.?

Move to L.A. then Austin?

What to do with July? Certainly not sit in Corinth.

How 'bout Greece? Did you know my name is Greek? Thanks mom.

Or Hawaii in July? Or maybe go to Hawaii at Christmas for my 30th? However that's rainy season...but still warm...

Or what about L.A. for a few months, Hawaii for a few weeks, then Austin?.... :)

What if my friend moves to Uganda? Should I go with her for a couple weeks and help her get settled? Or should I visit her at Christmas?....

Options. I'm AWESOME with them.

Love,

The Most Indecisive Human Being on the Planet

UPDATE SECTION:
*Principal talk went well. I think she really listens and cares. She sounded like she will do her best if the opportunity is there.
*Went to Amos Lee concert two weeks ago. He is great...and extremely good looking.
*Went to Miranda Lambert concert at Billy Bob's in Ft.Worth last Saturday. Left early because Billy Bob's is the worst concert venue there ever was, and I don't plan to ever, ever return.



Big Talk Today

So just in case I decide to stick around one more year here, so that I can leave with some cash in my pocket...I'm having the big talk with my principal today to ask her to take me out of coaching and allow me to teach full-time. My goal is to "teach her" why I would be more beneficial to this school as just a teacher. I borrowed the idea of using paint from Hyperboleandahalf...so here are a few of the pictures I made.

The presentation goes a little something like this...but MUCH more professional...

"Hi Mrs.Principal, I'd like to take a minute to discuss my career goals with you."

"I really love teaching....just the teaching part."

"I don't want to just be any ole teacher, I want to be an amazingly awesome great teacher! You know like a Freedom Writers, Stand and Deliver, Lean On Me kind of teacher!!!"

"Though Coaching has made for a fantastic last 3 years..."

"I would really appreciate if you would consider moving me into a FULL-TIME teaching position next year. And get me the *&#$ out of *%$#!@& Coaching for crying out loud."

Thank you for your time.

Judgement

The roomie and I made queso, got out blankets, and prepared ourselves for the Grammy's. I LOVE the Grammy's and the Oscars. I love seeing what everyone is wearing, I love the performances, and I love when my team wins. These are my super bowls. Because the actual Superbowl...means nothing to me. I could attempt to look cool and pretend like I know anything about football or teams...but I would not succeed. However, if a band I like wins a Grammy...I am filled with pride and happiness for them...I imagine this is how sports fans feel about "their" teams. You don't know the team personally. You don't play sports yourself. You definitely have no say in their coaching and you may not even live in the area where they come from...but they're "your team" and you get excited when they win and sad when they lose. Even though you had no part of it outside of spectator. Well that's how I feel about bands and movies and musicians and actors.

The Grammy's disappointed me this year. I was solely watching for Mumford & Sons, and Eminem. Most of the performances I would have rather read a book during. Bmx bikers don't belong on stage. Arcade Fire I wish you had played, "Wake Up". Muse, stop using so many lasers. Does anybody still living even remotely like Barbra Streisand anymore? She's so terrible.

 But I liked Cee Lo and Gwyneth. I liked Miranda Lambert. Some of Usher's dance was entertaining, but that was about it for this year. I was even a little disappointed in Eminem...probably because I don't enjoy Rhianna, but also because he didn't do a song from Recovery. I still like him though. I'm always interested in people who can rise up from their own ashes.

Mumford & Sons however...NEVER disappointing. So what if Bob Dylan lost a vocal chord or two over the last few decades?...Mumford still looked as happy as ever to share a stage with the legend, and be performing at such a huge award show. My love for them is three-fold: 1) They are each really great musicians and can all play various instruments. 2) Their lyrics seem Biblically influenced. 3) They might be the most seemingly humble band I've ever seen live...helping their roadies, constantly thanking everyone involved in the show, bringing the opening unknown bands back for their entire encore.

Also, I might be a tad in love with Marcus. I mean...just look at him. And he sings, plays music, British accent running all over the place, big arms, quiet voice, wears vests, writes songs, and runs the book club portion of their website. I'm smitten.

Laugh.

It takes a lot to make me laugh out loud. I'm kind of snobby that way. I don't even courtesy laugh all that often...I'll usually just smile instead. T.V., movies, texts...sometimes I think things are funny, but not enough to cackle at it.







But there is a blog that will almost always put me in a good mood and make me forget my troubles. I don't ALWAYS laugh...but I'd say 80-90% of the time I do. This girl's humor is right up my alley. So in case you missed it on the right side of my blog....the incredible link.....

www.hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com

Plans

Why yes I DID take self pictures during the snow storm. And yes, I realize I've reached a new level of vanity when I decide to take pictures of myself. But I like playing with my camera settings. And, my roomates get all squirmy about being "models". So there you go.

I'm about to share ideas that have weighed heavy on my mind lately. I'm not trying to be talked out of these. Would it be SUCH a terrible idea to move away? Is that the WORST thing I could possibly do? Ya, I might hate it? So then I move back. Ya I might lose all my money? So then I make more later. I've spent my whole life doing exactly what I'm supposed to do, in the exact order I'm supposed to do it. Played it safe, over cautious. Shouldn't I be allowed to make my own mistakes? IF they are even mistakes? Most people told me it was an irresponsible move when I talked about Australia...but you know what? That was the best decision I ever made. Those five months were hugely formative to the person I am now. I think the very WORST case scenario would be that I quit teaching for 2-3 years...and then continue to teach for the next...oh 33 years after that? But then I'll have had these experiences and memories in my pocket for those next 33yrs, as opposed to growing up and dying in this place. WORST case scenario I run out of money and have to crash with friends for a little while. Though I don't think I'm naive enough to let that happen. I'm pretty strict and frugal with money.

Plan A~ Most Logical
*Resign in June 2012
*Can legally sell house without owing government any money.
*One year to save money to leave with.
*One year to landscape and perfect the house for selling. Get it on the market.
*One year for roomates to save and make other arrangements.
*Time/money to get certified in several other subjects/grade levels to broaden my resume.
*Travel this summer, Hawaii? Guatemala? Greece? Italy? Africa?
*Travel for my 30th birthday. Hawaii? Australia? New Zealand?
*1.5years to pay off most of my car. (I hate debt of any kind)
*Move to L.A. until spring, for a year, or two years, or a few years?
*Find a room to rent in Hermosa Beach.
*Fulfill my dream of living by the beach, not just visiting.
*Try for a teaching job but willing to take anything available.
*Move to Austin after that because I can see myself settling down there.
*If I don't get out now, a lot can happen in a year and I might be forced to stay here for some reason.
*Stuck here one more year dreaming of other places.
*Don't ever buy a house again unless I'm married.
*Negate the previous bullet if killer lake house in Austin became available :)

Plan B~ Freedom
*Resign THIS June.
*Free my spirit.
*Forced to trust God with the money I wouldn't have.
*Pay the government the money back that they gave me for buying a house.
*Have no idea how long the house will take on the market.
*Stressful. Rushed.
*Roomates wouldn't have much time for alternate arrangements depending on when house sells.
*Wouldn't have to coach for another year.
*Move to Hermosa Beach.
*Move to Austin if L.A. doesn't work out.
*Hopefully forget about Nick with all the newness.
*Take whatever jobs I can get until a teaching position opens up.
*Limited money for this summer, maybe only one trip. Guatemala?
*Limited money for my 30th birthday. Might have to spend money/time off coming home for the holidays.
*A whole new life right away. New job, new place, new friends, new church, NEW TOWN.

Plan C~ Austin
*Could spend June and July renting a room in L.A., OR spend summer traveling. Hawaii? Guatemala? Greece? Italy? Africa?
*Then move straight to Austin in August.
*Would be an easy move, still in Texas, driveable from parents, Texas State Certified already.
*Attempt to find teaching job, but willing to sub or work elsewhere.
*This year or next. Travel situations apply to each. Money situations apply to each.
*Probably need to rent Texas storage unit for stuff during summer in L.A.
*A few possible awesome roomate options available in Austin.
*Live near a new group of singles before I'm (gasp) the wretched 3-0.

I need this. You can try and talk me out of it. But I feel like I need to do this. I've been reading in my Bible Study about how Abram was called out of his hometown. I have to wonder, did he hear an audible voice...or was it more of a gut feeling like I have? This nagging thought always, ALWAYS at the front of my mind. Jane had a good point during our phone conversation the other day. She said, "There's got to be a reason you just won't let this go. Ya know? Like you just WON'T let this idea go." She's right. I've been talking about living in L.A. since 2006. It's now 2011. FIVE whole years of my life have gone by. Australia, teaching career, and heart break. Those are my major life high lights since 2006. What could happen in the NEXT five years if I get out of my comfort zone?

Snow Day #3

School has been cancelled for three days in a row now. Shasta has still had to go to work and she said the ice on the roads is pretty bad. With the temperatures staying so low, it doesn't have a chance to melt enough to be safe for school buses...so no school. At first I thought, "Ah crap, now we've eaten up all our vacation days later this semester". But after seeing everybody complain so much on facebook, I have a new angle.

You see, this is actually awesome. How much time in my life do I actually take to sit down and read a book for as long as I'd like, without having somewhere to be? How often can I go for three days no shower? I've lived in this house for 1.5yrs and have JUST started cleaning out boxes and closets the past couple days. I have my guitar to play with, my house to clean, movies to watch...it's been awesome. I'm really, really, grateful to have such a big warm shelter. I know power has been on and off around the city. I'm wondering if any homeless people have died. I'm also super grateful I don't have to drive in this mess. I'm no plow queen, I'm a Texan. We get snow two days a year and the whole town shuts down, so I certainly don't care to learn to drive on ice. I'm happy to have a few restful days.

As for the days later this semester we'll have to make up because of this? Quit your bitching. Our profession gets THREE MONTHS off per year already. How many other jobs literally get TWELVE weeks paid vacation? I'm happy. Here are some pictures of my last two days.

I found this picture of a wedding dress that I've kept since high school. I decided to throw it away.

A) Because my tastes have changed and I would want a different dress at this point in time.

and B) Because marriage is a pipe dream I've given up on.

I created a goodwill/trash pile. I bought these flip flops at target four years ago and have warn them all summer, every summer since. In the lake, out on the town, across states and continents. So you can imagine how gross they've become. They've been my only pair for the past four years as well. Last summer I said, "Oh I'll just keep these until I get a new pair". Which I never did...so I figured the only way to progress, was to actually get rid of them.

I went through my letter box and got rid of about half of it. Man there were some REALLY sweet letters in there from this boy in college who never made a move on me. I wanted him to. I liked him and thought he was great. He's married with a baby now though, so time to throw those away. I think I was really naive in college and truly never understood when someone was or wasn't interested in me. 

Also found note after note from my mom. My mom was probably the best college mom there ever was. She would send me notes for every single holiday on the calendar, notes to encourage me on tests and finals, notes just because. Thanks mom. Those mean a lot more than I'm sure I ever seemed appreciative of. Also found a couple from my daddy. There was an especially sweet one he wrote me after Jeremy and I broke up in college...made me tear up all over again.

This stack of letters alone are from Paco in High School. We worked opposite shifts at the coffee shops and everyone had their own folder where our boss Susan would put paychecks, newsletters, schedules, etc...

One day I found a random note from this guy Paco that worked the day shift. So I wrote him back, and thus began our mail to each other everyday at work. It was fun. And I know he still has my letters in a box in his closet as well. We looked at a couple of them a few years ago. One of mine talked about how Coyote Ugly was the coolest movie ever. Haha...I was certainly in High School after all.

I never eat breakfast because I would rather sleep for 5-15 minutes extra instead of eat. I usually take a slimfast in the car with me to work ( I like them okay?). But the lovely BURGE's sent us a lovely blender after Toby didn't know his own strength and crushed our old one with his bare hands. It was a thoughtful gift from them...and I got to enjoy a smoothie!

After lunch yesterday I wanted something sweet, but we don't really have anything (finishing a lot of food off in this blizzard). So I saw chocolate chips and decided to bake cookies. Why? Because I CAN! Because I have all the time in the world! It was fun, and they are yummy, and I couldn't get my camera to focus in this one.



Today is Day #3 of being iced in. Today I took a shower. I'm going to complete my photography assignments for next week. My roomies and I just might venture out for a matinee (theatre is one mile away). Perhaps I'll cook a real meal, read some more (I'm 150 pages into The Fellowship of the Ring, and halfway through The Reason for God). Maybe clean out the pantry? I like cleaning. When I have time and pandora blasting, I don't mind it one bit. Perhaps I'll take some fun photographs for the next blog.

Stay warm folks.