My parents never made me stick with anything. I view this as a double-edged sword. While I think it was a good idea on their part (because i probably would have thrown a kicking tantrum and cost them years of wasted money), if I didn't like something, I could usually quit with nothing more than a disappointed look. Except for quitting Volleyball, dad was mad about that. I do not advocate parents who make their kids participate in sports and instruments they have no passion for. And at the same time...BECAUSE I never stuck with anything, I find myself completely AVERAGE at everything.
I never stuck around to see if I could get better. Rather than shooting 1000 free throws until I got the hang of it, I would shoot about 25 free throws, be frustrated with the 3 or 4 that went in, and then go inside and allow distraction with cleaning my room or eating Popsicles. Sometimes I wonder if this mentality has spilled over into the rest of my life. I do enough to get by, but rarely go above and beyond.
I was asking advice from my older brother the other day and he asked me a simple question that I couldn't answer and have thought about ever since.
"What are your LONG-term goals?"
Hmmm. That's a good question because I don't think I have any. If I'm being completely honest about what I hope to get out of life long-term...well I hope I'm happy and healthy, and live an adventure-filled life with no regrets that make a lot of good stories for when I get old and spend my time snapping peas in my rocking chair. That's the honest truth. There's no one thing I aspire to "be" outside of that.
All of my physical goals are short-term. And, some of those I have to ask myself to be honest about them. I've had this idea to go to graduate school in my head for education. But when I reeeeally think about it...why would I do that? I don't even like school? Not that I've done the research...but so far I've only found ONE program that looks absolutely interesting...and that's at Oxford...and people who get into Oxford wore pretty little ropes around their necks when they walked the stage to get receive their summa cum laude Bachelors certificates. I graduated Kinesiology after 4.5yrs with a 2.87 GPA. I'm guessing I'm not what they're looking for. And do I honestly even want to spend time in school again? Have I forgotten what it was like? I feel like I spent a lot of time performing a series of tasks to get me a piece of paper that would allow the real world to consider me.
I don't feel like I learned a ton about health and muscles during my bachelors, but I was willing to try Personal Training, and job experience and seminars taught me a LOT. My alternative teaching program was a joke and I was completely unprepared going into baptism by fire during my first year. Everything I know about teaching I've learned from trial and error, and other teachers. So honestly WHY do I want a masters degree? My long term goals right now are simply to be an INCREDIBLE, Freedom Writers kind of teacher. And it came to me when I was listening in church this morning. I only want that piece of paper because of how it will make me look. There is status for people who have masters degrees (but I know a few who have 'em, and they don't know that much more about teaching than i do). It's a piece of paper that will look nice on my resume and make other people think I know what I'm doing. That's no reason to spend thousands and thousands of dollars and hours of my life on something. I could go spend the summer with teachers in Africa and put that on my resume. That would look good too I think...but the difference is, I would actually WANT to spend time doing something like that. Not more school. Perhaps if I found a program that had a bunch of courses that perked my ears up I would think differently about grad school. I guess its time to research.
So I think my bro is right. I think I should throw my idea of quitting my job to go to grad school in California in the can. I LIKE teaching. I WANT to teach. Wherever I live (Cali and Austin are top two in the running) I want to be teaching. On frustrating days, I often ask myself, "What would I be doing if I wasn't a teacher?", because sometimes I get jealous of people who don't work 10hrs/day, sometimes I wish I could have an hour for lunch, sometimes I wish I only worked with adults. But no, since the travel channel isn't hiring any show hosts, and I'm not business savvy enough to open my own bar, or talented enough to be a rock star, then nope...I can't think of any other career I'd like to pursue. In a way, I'm already living out my long-term goal. God already gave it to me!
Short-term goals:
LIVE in another state for a time, preferably near a beach
Take photography classes and run a small side business
Bike around Ireland
Israel for the intense Bible study course
Become fluent in Spanish
Work with teachers in an underdeveloped country
See Connecticut when the Fall leaves are changing
Greece
Get out of coaching and just teach
Teach High School
Remember to send presents for my nephew/nieces birthdays
Cook a real dinner once/week
Ride in a hot air balloon
All these plus more I have floating around in other journals.
These are all ideas that put me on the edge of my seat. These are the ideas that I want to use for growth. I guess my restlessness to quit Dallas and move on will have to wait another 1.5 years that I've committed to this house (Talked to both a CPA and the IRS). Who knows? Maybe it will be good for me to stick with something a little longer than planned.
This is a pic of Darby and me at Austin City Limits. Sometimes I have pics and blogs ready to go in my head, and then never get around to posting them. Mumford and Sons this Thursday!
