Less thinking, more doing. That's the phrase I'm repeating in my head. Stop thinking/worrying about my job, DO IT, get it done, and move on to better things. Get involved in church, DO IT, be in town, create community. Stop talking/thinking about photography, DO IT, sign up for a class, practice on friends, begin a business. No love interest at all at the moment, but should one come along, DO IT, jump in, take a risk, and be vulnerable.
I've noticed something. In the summers, when I am busy, I don't check my social networks NEARLY as much. I'm happy to leave my phone in the room or the car to go participate in whatever awaits. I am also way less stressed in the summers. More DOING, less THINKING. I'm depressing my own self with the constant questions of purpose and meaning and putting band aids on symptoms of restlessness. Get off the bench, get out there, play the game.
A few steps. First, finally signed up for a "Creative Photography" class at UT. Starts Oct.29th and is 6 weeks long on Monday nights. Yes, yes I DID take a photo class last year, but it was awful and useless. Hoping this one will be better. Also, deleted the Facebook app from my phone. I know that sounds small, but a lot of my anxious worry stems from comparing myself to others who lead seemingly more exciting, happy, and fulfilling lives. I have to stop doing that. I believe Facebook only feeds into that. Notice I am not cancelling my account, there is value in keeping in touch, but for now I intend only to look at facebook when I am at home in front of my actual computer, rather than at stop lights out in traffic on my phone. I need to be my OWN person, and figure out who God has made me to be. I'm keeping twitter and instagram though. I follow a lot of photographers on instagram, and I follow a lot of uplifting and encouraging people on twitter. Deleting all extras. Don't find myself being quite as covetous on those sights.
Feels good, these small steps. I've made it 6 weeks in this hell for a job. Pretty surprised I haven't quit already and proud I've held my tongue and my temper there. Workin' for the weekends!
