Food!

After watching "Forks Over Knives" I got really interested in the idea of a whole plant-based diet. Of course I delve into this sort of thing. Why do you think I majored in Exercise Science? The way the body works is fascinating to me. I only teach 8th grade Science at the moment because no one has offered me a  high school Anatomy class. That's the dream.

In the film they mention the "Engine 2 Diet", developed by a fireman at "Engine 2" in Austin. I was sold, bought the book, and have really enjoyed it so far. I began the concept yesterday with a hummus sandwich, homemade veggie lasagna, homemade blueberry pancakes this morning and now(above) homemade blueberry cobbler (which I haven't tried yet, but smells ah-mazing) with vanilla gelato to top. I REALLY enjoy cooking when I have the time, space, and materials. I hate grocery and kitchen tool shopping...but if I have everything I need I love the work of creating something.

Don't get me wrong now. I'm not going crazy vegan. I refuse to be the person that inconveniences others for a separate recipe, or asks the waiter for 27 alternates to their menu. BUT, when I'm cooking for myself at home, I hope to follow this guide pretty close. It's often cheaper to eat produce, beans, and nuts than fastfood. It certainly tastes better. It's easy to cook, and I KNOW its good for me. You don't have to look at the nutrition label on things God made. I still fully intend to let someone at the Blue Goose make yummy fajitas for me. I still fully intend to have a beer and a hot dog at the ball park. I will still go see Laura at the BBQ trailer in Corinth when I've had a bad week. But, more often than not, I hope to start making healthier choices rather than the 15lbs of unhealthy choices I've gained since I quit personal training, and started teaching 4 years ago. The band director at my work started this lifestyle last fall and has since lost 38lbs with brand new blood levels...and he hasn't even worked out one bit.

On another note, I was recently sucked into this Hallmark movie on TV called, "The Wish List". The girl dates guy after guy that doesn't work out, so she decides to make a list and not settle for anything less. She meets a guy who has everything on the list, and then she meets a quirky guy who has nothing on her list. Can you guess who she falls in love with? The moral of the story is that you can't plan love. Someone isn't necessarily right for you just because they meet some expectations on a made up list. And even though it was a cheesy, Sunday afternoon, Hallmark movie...there's a lot of truth in that. This is where I have failed on the last two guys. My mom gave me a similar pearl of wisdom in a recent email; Don't look for a replacement, and don't look for a fairy tale, she says. Look for someone you like spending time with.

I've had that feeling before. That feeling that there is nowhere else I'd rather be. That feeling where I don't ever want to leave the moment I am resting in. So that's who I'll keep an eye out for. The one I want to spend all my time with. No lists. No expectations. Taking life one week at a time. This week? Finish with STAAR testing, and movie night with friends. Next week? PORTLAND OREGON...Donald Miller, and a bunch of new and interesting friends!

Portland, Here I Come!!!

In just 11 short days I will be in Portland, Oregon! I am beyond excited about this. I even had a hard time making the decision to take off a whole 3 days of school, but I think it will be well worth it. Donald Miller is holding a "Storyline Conference" that takes practical techniques used it writing a good story, and applying them to your life to make a better story. Have I mentioned he is my favorite author? I am so incredibly stoked. Just setting aside some real time to map out my life goals, big and small, will be so beneficial. Most of the time I put towards analyzing life is usually on the drive home when I'm sharing my attention with, ya know, driving...or during the usual TAKS tests when I spend an 8 hour day jotting lists, daydreaming, and breathing. Oh Portland, I can't wait to see you again my love!

Counting Down

There is a clock in my head constantly counting down. You name it. Each day when I first arrive at work I count down approximately how many hours it will be until I'm home again (could be 9, could be 14). I keep a close eye on how many minutes I have left in class and where I should be in my lesson and each minute. I count down the days until school is out, days until my next trip, days until the weekend, days until spring. I count down how many volleyball games are left in the season, basketball games, track meets, practices. I count down how many car payments I have left, house payments, Saturday schools left to teach. I ration how many apples I have left for the week, bananas, sandwiches. I live in a constant state of the future, one milestone (pebble or boulder as they may be) at a time. The problem with this, is that I don't actually live in the present. I don't actually stay here long enough to enjoy much.

Summertime is different. I choose NOT to wear a watch during the summer at all unless a flight nessecitates knowing what day and hour the present is. The times in my life when I've been happiest, were the times when I can honestly say there was nowhere else I'd rather be in that moment. Usually, this feeling comes while sleeping in a campervan in New Zealand, paddling a kayak in Hawaii, sliding down a waterfall on a sunny day in North Carolina...in the arms of a man who baked homemade pizza for me after a hard day at work. If there is any kind of ticking clock, or open-to-do list going on in my head, then I am no longer IN that particular moment. I desperately want to know if there is a way to consistently live, here, in the present.

Next weekend is my last Saturday school to teach. Hard to believe a whole year has gone by since I finshed the Saturday school of last year, saw him at Frankies, freaked and ran out of the bar, ended up at dinner with him, a Ranger game with him, dating him, being dumped by him, receiving emails from him....and now I've come full circle. I am now back to being nothing to him and unallowed to communicate. Funny how i thought we'd actually be in a real relationship by this time. Staying as busy as possible, just in awe of how time flies. Amazing how much happens over time.

2 more Saturday Schools
7 more showers
4 more tests for the kids
34 more days of school
48 more days til Summer
4 more months with a roommate

April Run

4/10- 3 laps w/8th grade girls

4/11- 4 laps + 50 sit ups w/8th grade

4/17- weight lifting w/ 8th grade

4/19- cardio w/ 7th, weights w/8th grade

Easter Holiday

4 days off. Maybe everything on my to do list for this weekend wasn't quite checked off. But overall it has been a nice few days of rest. Friday I was supposed to go to my parents, but decided to use the day for other purposes instead. So I had time to actually make and enjoy French Toast...

Mowed and dispersed "Weed and Feed" over the front and backyards...
Before...

 After...

 Before...

 After...

 Insert product placement here...
I'm not supposed to seed and fertilize until May 6, the whole neighborhood is hoping I remember...

They say you know it was a really good party when all the alcohol runs out. Well, I'm not sure what was said about my 30th birthday party way back in December, but I've had beer and oodles of wine bottles lingering about my kitchen. I've tried to take some of it to other parties I've attended, but that barely put a dent in it. I don't really drink by myself, or at home at all for that matter so I finally just gave in and poured out the rest of the beer in the fridge. Turns out beer doesn't "age" like wine does. Bottle recycle...

Been trying to cook more since I watched the fabulous documentary "Forks Over Knives". Cooking vegetables is very much less intimidating than trying to cook meat, and vegetables pretty much all go together. So Friday, not only did I have time to make breakfast, but I also took the time to cut up the last of the squash, tomatoes, and onion that I had, found the last of some whole wheat pasta and voila! Dinner...for the next several meals...concluding at lunch tomorrow...

 No ticket to Opening Day for the Rangers unlike my brother who knows people. But I DID get to watch it on TV...which is what I'm doing now as well!




Saturday I drove to the parents and hung out with the family. Sunday everyone dressed in their Easter best and went to my parents church. The girls were super cute in their dresses. And you'll never believe what happened in my parents little small town church that usually holds a hundred older people. A guy, with brown eyes, and marine physique actually walked up to me, introduced himself, and after a few minutes gave me his number and asked me to "dinner sometime". What the what? That has literally NEVER happened to me before. And I even have braces on right now! Super flattering. I still miss the familiarity of Jon like crazy, but that little stint at my parents church really boosted my confidence.

I love K's voice so much. I just want to put her in my pocket and pull her out every time I need something good. There is some kind of special bond between us and I wish I could have 4 daughters just like her. Maybe she is just that sugary sweet to everybody, but every single time I hear, "Auntie Carisse" I just melt for about 10 minutes. Not sure if I ever shared this story before, but a few years ago I was crying, over a boy or my future I'm sure. While I was crying I got a call from my brother, I didn't answer because I didn't want to sound like a sobbing mess so I just let it go to voicemail. When I called him back and asked what was up he said, "K said we should call you, when we asked her why we should do that she said, '...because she's sad'."  

...and they live in Maryland...totally weird.

And here is my precious baby boy. Isn't he sweet?...
Mom says we should just post this photo of Lucky Puck on the fence rather than BEWARE DOG.

K and her kite...

No wonder red roses are such a popular flower...
My mom, the gardener.

Picking wild flowers...

I LOVE this picture of my nephew cutie pie...

The pond on my parents place is slowly filling every time it rains. Anxious for the day its full, ready for swimming, and all the mud is settled.

The egg hunt...

The egg count...

Came home last night in order to get things done today. Namely cleaning, sewing buttons, running errands and looking for a bridesmaid dress. Instead I watched 3 movies and a Ranger game. Some days you just need to Sabbath.

4 day weekend

Holidays can suck. Say what you want but that's my opinion. I'm sure an appropriate response to a holiday should look something like; me having my car packed headed straight for the fam the minute school gets out, fawning over all the little ones, and eating past my hearts content. That is the picture I am probably supposed to say overlooking a holiday, but that's not honest. Truth be told, I feel that holidays are every bit of a slap in the face that weddings, showers, and one yr. old birthday parties are. Speaking of showers, did you know that I will be part of NINE showers March-May, and hostessing FOUR of those. Breakin' my bank. Can't wait for all the conversations that start out, "When are you going to have one of these?", "So have you got a special someone?", "I'm sure he's just around the corner, as soon as you stop thinking about it he'll come along..." or my personal favorite, "WHEN you get married...". Call me self-centered, that's fine, but yes, just another time to slip into the fishbowl labeled, "I'M NOT MARRIED AND I'M CHILDLESS". Maybe I should sell t-shirts for the 1% of us to wear to holiday events. Doesn't sound lucrative.

I did something incredibly stupid yesterday, I...texted him. Tornadoes were seen south of here, he lives south of here...I was concerned.  He responded. Don't worry, both of us are still alive, well, and separated. But, then I tried to start a conversation out of it, because that's what we women do, we manipulate better than any other population. He didn't respond. I feel dumb. Goo. Someone new on my radar sure would take the edge off. You know, someone other than Peeta, who I have to remind myself is in no way real, and therefore fictional and non-existent. Then I wouldn't have to think about baseball starting in two days and associate that with him. Then I wouldn't have to revert back to him every time someone questions my dating life. Then I wouldn't have to wonder if he was some kind of unfinished book. In fact, it would actually just be easier if all of my ex's would get married so that I can fully understand what "closed chapter" feels like. But waiting for him to come around and make a move has proved fruitless over the past 4 months so what the hell am I thinking? CLOSED chapter, Brown. Closed chapter. Let it go.

Yeah, I know, I know. Stop being so negative and bitter.
Positives beginning tomorrow at 4:25pm: Happy hour. Four days without work. Grades will be done for 3 weeks. Coaching for this school year is all over but the banquet. Finally get to practice with my new fancy camera that will one day give me a side business. I've tried running on the back roads around my parents house but get super creeped out by all the unchained orphan dog-mutt-wolfs around that I just came up with the idea of trail running! Over 50 acres it's probably a mile loop or so around the property, so I could run that, right? Trail running is better for balance than road running anyway. Just hope there are no wild pigs or any other  sick wild thing waiting out there for a stupid city girl to come barreling through. Bridesmaid dress will be hunted. Gifts will be bought. House cleaning will get done. Movie watching will be had.

Can't believe I stayed up til 10:30pm.
5:20am will be here before I know it.
Night.