When I first saw this year's May 26th on the calendar I was relieved I would be at work for distraction. Darby and I have been talking about whether or not I should have some type of tradition for this day, some type of thing I do every year to memorialize the day I watched my brother die. But the truth is, I don't think I want one.
I don't think I want to give any more power to this day than is already hurtful. I don't need a date to remind me what happened or notice that he's gone. Its hard enough to hold it together when the unexpected triggers pop up. I went back to work on May 27th two years ago because I just needed to unstaple things. I just needed to put things in boxes all day long so I could go back to bed.
So today I will tell my people that I love them. I will go to work. I will eat good food. I will sleep comfortably in my bed. And most importantly, I will breathe. In and out, and effortlessly...all day long I will breathe. I will thank God for the time we were given with him, and for Stacy and the littles who came into my life because of him.
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
Why in the world are you moving to South Carolina?
Yes. Come end of June we are planning to move to Greenville, South Carolina. And I know what you're thinking? Why? Why would you do that?
First, allow me to waft my laments and then we will get down to business. I have nothing against Austin. In fact I am deeply in LOVE with Austin and you should all move here. I have enjoyed it so much. We live one mile south of Zilker park and three miles south of the Whole Foods downtown, which is near the infamous 6th street and other downtowny places. I have really loved living so close to the action that we primarily use bikes and our scooter aside from driving cars to work or other far away places outside of our ten minute radius of friends and fun. The food IS so good. The music IS prevalent. The people ARE sweet and kind and edgy. Austin is a great place to live. Swimming holes, barbecue, hillcountry. And don't get me started on my community of friends that I will cherish forever and ever. My sweet inner circle of people who know me best and pull me out of my homebody hermit shell. My extended circle full of adventurous souls that beg me to think outside the box. And my teaching community, without which I could not get out of bed for thirty seven weeks per year filled with pubescent, emotional, teenage angst. It really took me a long time to wrap my mind around the idea of moving away because life is pretty great here.
When I first moved to Austin, it was because of my 30 year old temper tantrum that felt trapped in Dallas. I was born and raised there and I felt like if I didn't leave soon I would blink and then retire five miles from the street I grew up on. That's not to say its a bad idea to stay there...Dallas is great too...its just, its not always enough for me to believe that the grass may not be greener on the other side. I want to hoist myself over that fence to see it with my own eyes. And when I up and moved to Australia for a few months at 25, and when I up and moved to Austin, TX at 30, I had lots of people tell me it wouldn't be any different. I wouldn't be any different. I would simply be me in a different place. Well maybe a morsel of that is true, but mostly not. My life is shaped like Austin now, which is dissimilar to what it was in Dallas. The Aaron's taught me to ride a scooter here, which means I avoid using my car when I can. I found Terry here, talk about a love story for all time! I don't own a TV here (but I do have Hulu and am working my way through all season's of the O.C. so I'm not as cool as I'd like to be yet). I go outside more here. I paddled my first board here. I learned to sail here. I walk to church here. None of these things are exclusive experiences to living in Austin, but rather because of the way my life is shaped here I can experience these things. Perhaps I would not have had the gumption to change some of these daily routines had I stayed in my comfy Dallas. Its a theory anyway.
Now on to the FAQ's of the big South Carolina move...
1) Do y'all have family or friends there?
Nope. Neither of us know a soul except the realtor and the airbnb hosts we spent time with on our Spring Break trip. Terry has some friends in the state a few hours from Greenville. I can only pray that people will be nice and welcoming, and karma will not bite me for ignoring newbies in the past and retreating to the cozy comfort of my longtime friends in group settings.
2) Oh are you transferring to a job?
Nope. Terry was laid off from the oil field and told me he would never return to the life that keeps him away from me for two weeks out of every month. So on to newer things! And y'all, I've been teaching 8th grade Science for E.I.G.H.T. years in Title 1 schools. Its time. I'm moving on too. I recently got certified to teach Elementary so that will be my next step. And before all the elementary teachers tell me how it won't be easier than middle school let me stop you. I'm not saying it will be easier. I read an article once about how every job has a poop sandwich you have to eat...what you have to decide is what flavor you're okay with. Elementary may not be easier but it will be different, and I'd like to try that different and see how I feel about it. Middle schoolers are weird creatures. They will joke with you one minute and tell you to F*** yourself and walk out of class the next. They want to drive and be in relationships while wearing Sponge Bob backpacks and my little pony sweatshirts. They eat a lot of hot cheetos and they think $50/day is a lot of money. Six times a day they come to your classroom for 45 minutes and trash it. It has its perks once in a while....but I'm just curious what its like to have students prior to their raging hormones, before most of them have phones and social media, before most of them have even kissed or know what drugs are, what its like to have 30 kids rather than 130 kids each day, to have the same kids all day, all year, with just me and my rules and my consistent communication with their parents. Again, I'm not saying it will be easier or even better...but it will be different, and I'm curious about that difference.
3) Whats the appeal?
A) Because South Carolina looks like this! ("Pretty Place" not my photo)
Aaron and Darby introduced us to Rainbow Falls in the Gorges State Park about an hour from Greenville three years ago. That camping trip was Terry and I's third date that started conversations in the first place like, "Have you ever lived outside of Texas?", "I wonder what it's like to live right between the mountains and the beach?"
B) Because lower cost of living
$400,000
5BR, 4 bath, 2+acres
Greenville, SC
$400,000
3BR, 1 bath, 6000sqft lot
Austin, TX
Take a gander on realtor.com for what you can get there. It may be un-updated, but we could get a house on a few acres within thirty minutes from downtown for under one hundred and fifty thousand. I'll take two.
C) Because if we ever have kids we want to position ourselves financially with bills low enough for me to stay home with them. I come home tired as it is right now. Terry was a guest speaker for one day at school and came home and took a nap. I don't know how in the world Mama's go teach other people's kids all day and then raise their own after work. I am certain I would give in to the sleepies and the house would burn down way before bedtime on day one.
D) Because our dream is to own some acres with chickens and a large garden that are sustainable for a large chunk of our food source. We need land for my future puppy who shall be called Mr.Bates or Dragon or Little Tex (I haven't decided yet) and Terry needs his own entire building separate from the house devoted to his snakes probably because there are SO MANY OF THEM AND THEY JUST KEEP COMING.
E) Because even if we only live there for one year we should get a ton of pretty hikes under our belt and experience a chunk of awesome places like Charleston, the Biltmore, Nashville, Florida beaches, lots of the east coast and visits with my childhood friend Arrie in the ATL...
F) Because it will be an adventure with my new husband and if I stay here I will always wonder "What if?" And I will mumble that each and every time I have a bad day.
"....I bet the kids in South Carolina wouldn't tell their teacher to F-off..."
G) Because a lot of Nicholas Sparks stories were filmed here and Dawson's Creek is about four hours away and I've always wanted to live on one of those sets with a big screened in porch like my Grandma's house.
4) What if you don't find jobs and churches and friends?
Well, Terry and I will talk to anybody. We think we get that from our respective Dad's. But if we don't find jobs, we may be up a creek. And then we will pray and I will whine and may have to do something besides teaching for a while but that's okay because I'm an educated socially normal adult.
5) Are you worried about...you know...confederate flag bumper sticker people?
Ok so its a long story but on the Hitchhiking Race of 2011 we had to take some guy to the hospital for his toe. I think he was actually from Alabama but anyway Darby and I drove his car to the hospital for him and when we got out we realized we'd been driving around with THIS on the back and oh my lands. Gross. Embarrassment. Help.
In my mind the southeastern United States is the real "south". If that makes sense? To me, Texas is southern like with biscuits and guns and bluebonnets...but its more like its own country....which we were after all for about a decade there :) So yes. Truthfully, I am a little concerned about the racism potential so near to the Appalachian Mountains. But then again, I'm not, and here's why. First of all, we just had dinner with a couple from California last night tell us this was their same concern about moving to Austin, Texas.....not that racism isn't here because I've heard stories, but just that its Austin...there are plenty of artists with handlebar mustaches but it's not known to be a hillbilly town on the whole. Second of all, if it is there, then shouldn't we be the kind of people that should move to places like that anyway? Spreading God's love all around? I've never believed you have to go too far outside your own door to love all the people and share all the Jesus.
6) Are you concerned about moving to a smaller town miles away from all of your homies and family?
Yes. My mom is my favorite person and she's already too far away at five hours from Austin. Plus she gets a new puppy every six months living in the country, and I need to be close enough to meet each of them. Coming from a majority of my life in Dallas and Austin a smaller town will be an adjustment. But Greenville is not itty bitty. There are over four hundred thousand people in Greenville county compared to the over one million in my current Travis county. So everywhere we go I just try to picture a little less than half the people in that environment, and that sounds nice to me.
7) But where will you live?
When I finish the school year we will drive up there and find a place to rent. If we like it, we stay and buy. If we don't, we move in with my parents and their puppies. (That's my plan B not Terry's. I do not know his Plan B. My guess is we would end up in Indonesia with larger snakes if he has a say in Plan B).
8) Don't they pay teachers less there?
Yes. About five grand less. Which is about how much we will save in rent each month from what I can tell. Maybe I'll finally up my photography game and make some extra mula?
9) Are you sure you want to do this?
I asked myself the same question when I got on a plane to Australia in 2007 and it ended up being awesome. No I'm not sure about anything. But I know that my brother has confirmed that we are not promised tomorrow. So better do some stuff now. This could very will be a bad idea. But we will find that out soon enough. And to quote my favorite Donald Miller,
"Leave.
Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.”
10) Don't your parents have lots of acres in East Texas? Why don't you go try out your Southern Living chicken life there?
Well Mom...I mean, I've pondered that one quite a bit. But that's a town of three thousand. Might be a bit too small of a first transition. Also, does anyone really want to live across the front lawn from their in-laws? As much as Terry loves my parents and we could do puzzles together all the live long day, I wouldn't actually ask him to do that. We want to see what its like to start somewhere fresh for the both of us, and build a life together from scratch.
This concludes the question hour. I wanted to write this because anytime I see someone on facebook induce a major life change, I always want to know the details of their biography. I stalked Sarah Carlson for a good twenty minutes once with her moving to Abilene post so...there you go.
Come visit us in a few months friends!!!
First, allow me to waft my laments and then we will get down to business. I have nothing against Austin. In fact I am deeply in LOVE with Austin and you should all move here. I have enjoyed it so much. We live one mile south of Zilker park and three miles south of the Whole Foods downtown, which is near the infamous 6th street and other downtowny places. I have really loved living so close to the action that we primarily use bikes and our scooter aside from driving cars to work or other far away places outside of our ten minute radius of friends and fun. The food IS so good. The music IS prevalent. The people ARE sweet and kind and edgy. Austin is a great place to live. Swimming holes, barbecue, hillcountry. And don't get me started on my community of friends that I will cherish forever and ever. My sweet inner circle of people who know me best and pull me out of my homebody hermit shell. My extended circle full of adventurous souls that beg me to think outside the box. And my teaching community, without which I could not get out of bed for thirty seven weeks per year filled with pubescent, emotional, teenage angst. It really took me a long time to wrap my mind around the idea of moving away because life is pretty great here.
When I first moved to Austin, it was because of my 30 year old temper tantrum that felt trapped in Dallas. I was born and raised there and I felt like if I didn't leave soon I would blink and then retire five miles from the street I grew up on. That's not to say its a bad idea to stay there...Dallas is great too...its just, its not always enough for me to believe that the grass may not be greener on the other side. I want to hoist myself over that fence to see it with my own eyes. And when I up and moved to Australia for a few months at 25, and when I up and moved to Austin, TX at 30, I had lots of people tell me it wouldn't be any different. I wouldn't be any different. I would simply be me in a different place. Well maybe a morsel of that is true, but mostly not. My life is shaped like Austin now, which is dissimilar to what it was in Dallas. The Aaron's taught me to ride a scooter here, which means I avoid using my car when I can. I found Terry here, talk about a love story for all time! I don't own a TV here (but I do have Hulu and am working my way through all season's of the O.C. so I'm not as cool as I'd like to be yet). I go outside more here. I paddled my first board here. I learned to sail here. I walk to church here. None of these things are exclusive experiences to living in Austin, but rather because of the way my life is shaped here I can experience these things. Perhaps I would not have had the gumption to change some of these daily routines had I stayed in my comfy Dallas. Its a theory anyway.
Now on to the FAQ's of the big South Carolina move...
1) Do y'all have family or friends there?
Nope. Neither of us know a soul except the realtor and the airbnb hosts we spent time with on our Spring Break trip. Terry has some friends in the state a few hours from Greenville. I can only pray that people will be nice and welcoming, and karma will not bite me for ignoring newbies in the past and retreating to the cozy comfort of my longtime friends in group settings.
2) Oh are you transferring to a job?
Nope. Terry was laid off from the oil field and told me he would never return to the life that keeps him away from me for two weeks out of every month. So on to newer things! And y'all, I've been teaching 8th grade Science for E.I.G.H.T. years in Title 1 schools. Its time. I'm moving on too. I recently got certified to teach Elementary so that will be my next step. And before all the elementary teachers tell me how it won't be easier than middle school let me stop you. I'm not saying it will be easier. I read an article once about how every job has a poop sandwich you have to eat...what you have to decide is what flavor you're okay with. Elementary may not be easier but it will be different, and I'd like to try that different and see how I feel about it. Middle schoolers are weird creatures. They will joke with you one minute and tell you to F*** yourself and walk out of class the next. They want to drive and be in relationships while wearing Sponge Bob backpacks and my little pony sweatshirts. They eat a lot of hot cheetos and they think $50/day is a lot of money. Six times a day they come to your classroom for 45 minutes and trash it. It has its perks once in a while....but I'm just curious what its like to have students prior to their raging hormones, before most of them have phones and social media, before most of them have even kissed or know what drugs are, what its like to have 30 kids rather than 130 kids each day, to have the same kids all day, all year, with just me and my rules and my consistent communication with their parents. Again, I'm not saying it will be easier or even better...but it will be different, and I'm curious about that difference.
3) Whats the appeal?
A) Because South Carolina looks like this! ("Pretty Place" not my photo)
Aaron and Darby introduced us to Rainbow Falls in the Gorges State Park about an hour from Greenville three years ago. That camping trip was Terry and I's third date that started conversations in the first place like, "Have you ever lived outside of Texas?", "I wonder what it's like to live right between the mountains and the beach?"
B) Because lower cost of living
$400,000
5BR, 4 bath, 2+acres
Greenville, SC
$400,000
3BR, 1 bath, 6000sqft lot
Austin, TX
Take a gander on realtor.com for what you can get there. It may be un-updated, but we could get a house on a few acres within thirty minutes from downtown for under one hundred and fifty thousand. I'll take two.
C) Because if we ever have kids we want to position ourselves financially with bills low enough for me to stay home with them. I come home tired as it is right now. Terry was a guest speaker for one day at school and came home and took a nap. I don't know how in the world Mama's go teach other people's kids all day and then raise their own after work. I am certain I would give in to the sleepies and the house would burn down way before bedtime on day one.
D) Because our dream is to own some acres with chickens and a large garden that are sustainable for a large chunk of our food source. We need land for my future puppy who shall be called Mr.Bates or Dragon or Little Tex (I haven't decided yet) and Terry needs his own entire building separate from the house devoted to his snakes probably because there are SO MANY OF THEM AND THEY JUST KEEP COMING.
E) Because even if we only live there for one year we should get a ton of pretty hikes under our belt and experience a chunk of awesome places like Charleston, the Biltmore, Nashville, Florida beaches, lots of the east coast and visits with my childhood friend Arrie in the ATL...
F) Because it will be an adventure with my new husband and if I stay here I will always wonder "What if?" And I will mumble that each and every time I have a bad day.
"....I bet the kids in South Carolina wouldn't tell their teacher to F-off..."
G) Because a lot of Nicholas Sparks stories were filmed here and Dawson's Creek is about four hours away and I've always wanted to live on one of those sets with a big screened in porch like my Grandma's house.
4) What if you don't find jobs and churches and friends?
Well, Terry and I will talk to anybody. We think we get that from our respective Dad's. But if we don't find jobs, we may be up a creek. And then we will pray and I will whine and may have to do something besides teaching for a while but that's okay because I'm an educated socially normal adult.
5) Are you worried about...you know...confederate flag bumper sticker people?
Ok so its a long story but on the Hitchhiking Race of 2011 we had to take some guy to the hospital for his toe. I think he was actually from Alabama but anyway Darby and I drove his car to the hospital for him and when we got out we realized we'd been driving around with THIS on the back and oh my lands. Gross. Embarrassment. Help.
6) Are you concerned about moving to a smaller town miles away from all of your homies and family?
Yes. My mom is my favorite person and she's already too far away at five hours from Austin. Plus she gets a new puppy every six months living in the country, and I need to be close enough to meet each of them. Coming from a majority of my life in Dallas and Austin a smaller town will be an adjustment. But Greenville is not itty bitty. There are over four hundred thousand people in Greenville county compared to the over one million in my current Travis county. So everywhere we go I just try to picture a little less than half the people in that environment, and that sounds nice to me.
7) But where will you live?
When I finish the school year we will drive up there and find a place to rent. If we like it, we stay and buy. If we don't, we move in with my parents and their puppies. (That's my plan B not Terry's. I do not know his Plan B. My guess is we would end up in Indonesia with larger snakes if he has a say in Plan B).
8) Don't they pay teachers less there?
Yes. About five grand less. Which is about how much we will save in rent each month from what I can tell. Maybe I'll finally up my photography game and make some extra mula?
9) Are you sure you want to do this?
I asked myself the same question when I got on a plane to Australia in 2007 and it ended up being awesome. No I'm not sure about anything. But I know that my brother has confirmed that we are not promised tomorrow. So better do some stuff now. This could very will be a bad idea. But we will find that out soon enough. And to quote my favorite Donald Miller,
"Leave.
Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed.”
10) Don't your parents have lots of acres in East Texas? Why don't you go try out your Southern Living chicken life there?
Well Mom...I mean, I've pondered that one quite a bit. But that's a town of three thousand. Might be a bit too small of a first transition. Also, does anyone really want to live across the front lawn from their in-laws? As much as Terry loves my parents and we could do puzzles together all the live long day, I wouldn't actually ask him to do that. We want to see what its like to start somewhere fresh for the both of us, and build a life together from scratch.
This concludes the question hour. I wanted to write this because anytime I see someone on facebook induce a major life change, I always want to know the details of their biography. I stalked Sarah Carlson for a good twenty minutes once with her moving to Abilene post so...there you go.
Come visit us in a few months friends!!!
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