When I first saw this year's May 26th on the calendar I was relieved I would be at work for distraction. Darby and I have been talking about whether or not I should have some type of tradition for this day, some type of thing I do every year to memorialize the day I watched my brother die. But the truth is, I don't think I want one.
I don't think I want to give any more power to this day than is already hurtful. I don't need a date to remind me what happened or notice that he's gone. Its hard enough to hold it together when the unexpected triggers pop up. I went back to work on May 27th two years ago because I just needed to unstaple things. I just needed to put things in boxes all day long so I could go back to bed.
So today I will tell my people that I love them. I will go to work. I will eat good food. I will sleep comfortably in my bed. And most importantly, I will breathe. In and out, and effortlessly...all day long I will breathe. I will thank God for the time we were given with him, and for Stacy and the littles who came into my life because of him.
