Captivity

I remember being fascinated with dolphins when I was a kid. Sea World was one of the coolest vacations we ever took. I got a stuffed animal Shamu there that I would tuck away in my armpit and sleep with every night. I had a white t-shirt with a big picture of two dolphins on the back of it for years until holes wore into it.

Another fact about me is that I've always been bothered by the captivity of animals. I've never really liked the circus, or zoos. I've willingly gone to them and paid my money, but there is something about a sad animal wandering around a cage that doesn't seem right. Dumbo always makes me cry. It even seems a little sad every time I see a dog crated. I know, i know, its their home, they like it in there. But there is something about looking at a pair of eyes through a fence that's a little sad.

I recently watched, and soon cried while watching, "The Cove". This is a must see. Everyone should see this. I rented it on my netflix so I don't know if its available in stores or not. Its a documentary about dolphins being slaughtered in Taiji, Japan. Now that I've seen this, I sure am glad I signed up to go on the Sea World field trip at the end of January (sarcasm inserted).

Helpless is an emotion I feel on a regular basis with this sort of thing. The Lord has emblazoned my soul with so much passion, fire, motivation...and yet, I can't seem to land on a place to unleash all of this fight. Overwhelming are the problems in the world. How many inhumane things are being done to humans, let alone things like dolphins and animals? I don't claim to always know what "the right thing to do" IS at times? Should I stop eating tuna and fish altogether unless I caught it myself? Should I become a vegetarian because I could never actually kill something myself? Should I never again give money to an organization that holds animals in captivity for my entertainment?
I see the benefit on the other side as well. I had this conversation once with Jeremy after we went to the St.Louis zoo. His argument was that when else in your life would you have the opportunity to see a giant polar bear? And it WAS such a cool feeling this summer to have a Toucan stand on my arm. And I couldn't believe i got to feed a kangaroo right out of my hand in Australia. Those were all very wonderful and powerful memories. But I also have a couple more memories that were meaningful...

Like when Randy and I were sea kayaking in New Zealand and 3 dolphins came swimming up next to us. And, being in a kayak, we were right at sea level with them. And THEN a seal came next to us and swam along too! Our tour guide said that was the first time he'd seen that happen in years! How special was that?!
Or when I was visiting Clint in Alaska, we saw a huge caribou from the road and decided to hike along this stream until we could see it up close, in the WILD! ...now granted I almost peed my pants when it made eye contact with us, but it was an incredible moment.

There was a saying in the documentary that if you're not an activist, you're an inactivist. And I may never be able to cut free a baby dolphin that's about to be stabbed to death...but the very least I can do is advertise it on this blog...for the 3-4 of you that read it. GO see this film. TELL your friends. Its made me reconsider the prepackaged tuna lunches I so flippantly buy. We already gave up the idea of riding elephants in Laos last summer, and now I've let go of the idea of swimming with dolphins in Hawaii someday. I'd rather God allow me to see His creatures as He intended, otherwise I'll just replay planet earth and watch them on dvds.

TakePart.com/TheCove

slice of the book...

The latest Donald Miller book I'm reading is not his best work. But here's a small gem from A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, page 204 anyhow...

"...I realized that for years I'd thought of love as something that would complete me, make all my troubles go away. I worshipped at the altar of romantic completion. And it had cost me, plenty of times. And it had cost most of the girls I'd dated too because I wanted them to be something they couldn't be. It's too much pressure to put on a person. I think that's why so many couples fight, because they want their partners to validate them and affirm them, and if they don't get that, they feel as though they're going to die. And so they lash out..."

"...one of the questions asked was whether she believed there was one true love for every person. Susan essentially said no. And she said that with her husband sitting right there in the audience. She said she and her husband believed they were a cherished prize for each other, and they would probably drive any other people mad. But then she said something I thought was wise. She said she had married a guy, and he was just a guy. He wasn't going to make all her problems go away, because he was just a guy. And that freed her to really love him as a guy, not as an ultimate problem solver. And because her husband believed she was just a girl, he was free to really love her too. Neither needed the other to make everything okay. They were simply content to have good company through life's conflicts. I thought that was beautiful."

Little Black Rain Cloud

I dont feel good today. Probably the worst time to pour out your feelings on a public blog is during times like this, when I feel all depressive and pitiful. It's quite possible that 2 weeks from now I will read this with a chipper laugh and wonder what the heck was wrong with me. However today, I feel like crapola.

Maybe its just late in the month? Maybe its all the cloud cover and cold weather that i despise so much? Maybe its my current stress level? Who knows? I'm sure I could blame this long lasting mood on any excuse of my choice, but it wont change the fact that i'm just feeling blue this week.

I've been so rude lately. And to people who don't deserve it. I've just been snappy and lazy and highly irritable for no reason. I'm stressed about the amount of work I have to finish at my job before friday at 4pm. But, its all work I can handle so why am i allowing stress to creep in?

I dont feel like doing anything, or going anywhere, yet I'll get bored after a couple of hours at home. I feel fat. My face is breaking out. And the to-do list just seems to get longer and longer. I wish I could drop everthing and move to the beach for a while. I wish I had a husband. I wish I had a puppy (and time to take care of it). I wish I made good decisions. I wish I felt as close to God as I did in college.

There's my whiny rampage.

I heart vampires

So this post has nothing to do with traveling, but sometimes I just like to put my thoughts up. And here's a quick one. It kind of irks me, all the time and energy spent bashing new moon. I mean there are some people who dont just make a small joke, but take every effort to belittle people who like the Twilight series. Like on facebook, or I hear kids at school be pretty harsh with their comments directed at other kids of how stupid, gay, or immature they are for enjoying the Vampire books. I guess since I hear it in MIDDLE school daily, im always a little surprised that the same kind of demeaning ridicule is still there in adult form. So here is what I would like to say.

What is the big damn deal?
Why can we not co-exist with our differentiated reading/movie preferences?
Why am i not allowed to enjoy something, just because you dont?
I usually just keep to myself and let you have your own opinions, why must you go out of your way to be the correct viewpoint?

I'm not speaking to anyone in particular, just kind of something i've noticed lately and find a little annoying. Perhaps I'm a little defensive because I DID enjoy the books. And I thought the second movie was tops. But this is my blog so here, will take a little bit of time to get off my chest all the things i've kept quiet about. I find the following ridiculous.

*I think all video games are retarded and a waste of time. I am always surprised at the amount of time, money, and energy spent on these at any age. Rockband is the only game i find remotely pleasing, and even then, only for about an hour, a couple times a year.

*I find sports retarded as well. The world worships 20something year old men at their ability to throw and catch balls.

*Why would you ever drink more than you can handle? Your body has mechanisms inside to alert you when you have had too much and need to slow down and consume water. Hangovers are preventative. So are $100 bar tabs.

*Driving any vehicle that costs over $15k. Even that is probably too much. There are plenty of used vehicles in great condition.

*Updating your facebook ever 3 minutes. Or your twitter. Or your myspace. Why are you that plugged in all the time? What would you do with yourself if you werent allowed internet?

*Answering your cell phone in the middle of our conversation. Am i unimportant or what?

*Owning more than 5 pairs of anything.

*Designer anything

*"I can't...". Yes you can.

*Forcing the F-word into every sentence of your regular vocabulary.

Thats enough for now, I should go do something productive.