Move

This is a band new to me that opened for my friend Ryan in "Smile Smile" this weekend. They are called "Air Review" and I love them, and they're awesome, and they're from here!

In other news, I'm seriously thinking about moving out of the metroplex. And yes, I do dream of this often with my heavy case of wanderlust. But i've lived here my whole life with the tiny exception of 5 years in abilene (still texas), and a few months in Oz. I think its just too familiar to me and I need to explore. Someone recently said to me, "...I guess a truly happy person can be happy anywhere?". And don't get me wrong, its not that I'm unhappy. I like my life here. I have great friends and a good job and a nice house. It's hard to explain, but I just kind of feel like it might be time to move on. Not at all that I'm unhappy, more like...I feel my curiosity of living away from here growing.

I dont even know where I would go. I tell foreigners all the time that Austin is my favorite town in Texas...so how come I don't live there? Sometimes I wonder if I might really enjoy it there. Its still in Texas so it fits with my teaching certification already. I have several friends that live there. Their live music scene is huge? I love the atmosphere and all the outdoor opportunities there. Or what about california? I know I wouldn't want to raise kids there so isn't that sort of a now or never kind of place? I feel like I grow a lot from being around Jane and Toby. Perhaps somewhere like Portland just to try it out? Or anywhere along the west coast really?

I just dont want to ever be the person that "wonders what it would be like" if I can help it. I want to be the person that does it and has stories to show for it. My super short stint in Australia is one of the best decisions I've ever made to date. Maybe its time for another?

I DO feel stuck here for about another 1.5 years. Maybe thats where all of this is coming from, the feeling of entrapment. But I chose to buy this house, and the government gave me $8000 for FREE just for doing that. So i took that money and paid off my car, and bought a refrigerator, and painted my house inside and out, and went to Asia. So that money is gone. All I had to do was buy a house and committ to living in it as my primary residence for three years. And no, money is not that important, but it is nice to have some to spend how I choose. And I feel that it would be silly and frivolous to pay the government $8000 back, just so I can move one year early.

Lots to think about. I'm just not sure if I want to be thirty years old, in my home town, with roomates, and a thirty minute commute to work.

The New Old Testament

So I've been interested in the Old Testament lately. My friend John gave me a book called "Epic of Eden" by Sarah Richter. It's really good so far and now is a great time to start reading it because I ALSO just started this Bible study at church about Genesis. Should get some good thoughts from these soon!

#6...Finally read the Bible from cover to cover.

On an unrelated topic I've been sick for about a week now. YUCK! I thought it was just allergies, but its kind of lingering and a week later, I'm still a huge coughing ball of snot and my man-voice is barely holding it together with tape and glue. Is this normal for allergies? I'm not usually an allergies-affected kind of person. They wouldn't even let me give blood at school today. Probably because they couldn't determine my gender...since my hair is curled and pinned like a female, but my voice sounds like the dying version of Dumbledore, and in their confusuion as to what part of the animal kingdom I belong to, they simply thought it easier to turn me away.
...or maybe they just dont want sick people blood?

I wish I had some sort of funny story to share with you. I feel like my life used to be full of those. However, right now my life is composed of mucho work and minimal free-time that mostly involves listening to other people's really funny and interesting, current life stories.

THANK YOU Jesus for Fridays.

Ambitions

So...Zambia fell through...for a multitude of reasons. It's ok though. Sometimes i wonder if God puts decisions before us just to see what we would say? Or maybe He's leading me to just start thinking about working with teachers in undeveloped countries? who knows?

On a different note, i went to a teacher training all day yesterday and had a volleyball game last night. This was the best training I have been to. It made me really excited about being a teacher...and when i noticed I didn't get to go home at 3pm like everyone else, but had to go back to the school and coach until 9pm...I realized a few things.

First, this utterly reinforced the notion that I have NO desire to be a coach. Whatsoever. I DO enjoy training people athletically. Thats why I majored in Kinesiology. I DO enjoy that I don't need a lesson plan for 1st and 7th period athletics everyday. I DO enjoy that I get to know a handful of girls each year on a deeper level than other teachers. However, that is where the perks end. The CONS list is unmentionably lengthy.

Most people start as middle school coaches because they are trying to get their foot in the door to become a high school coach. Not this girl! I took the coaching gig to gain a job. I want to be a GREAT teacher! Like Dead Poets Society Great. Like Freedom Writers Great. Like make a difference GREAT! I don't want to go into Admin or counseling. I just want to be teacher of the year and have my kids intellects through the roof. I want to possibly get a masters degree in Curriculum Design and use that to help teachers be better teachers...once I figure out how to do that myself. I want to have experience teaching various subjects and grades!

I've also been looking into photography classes. There are a lot of ways I could use that. I've had this dream for a long time to start a travel magazine that people like myself would read. Have you ever read a travel magazine? They suck, and are for rich people, and their articles could be written by high schoolers. I also wouldn't mind dabbling in some wedding photography? Or learning how to be good at action photography. Candid photography.

And maybe I've been watching too much L.A. Ink, but lately I've really been wanting to learn how to draw well. Like portraits. I've always been pretty good at copying stuff, and mom always told me I should do something with art. So I've also entertained the notion of starting a small greeting card business on the side. I think of them all the time, with pictures I take and ideas in my head.

Maybe its my right brain on overdrive...but i feel the need to create.

Wow this is nothing but ramblings today.

Secondsies

I think it makes the most since to try to find clothes for myself at vintage/consignment/second hand shops. I've been wearing hand-me-downs for ages already. Plus i think it makes shopping easier. Prices are what I expect them to be because I dont believe a dress should cost $50, I think it should cost about $10, which what you can pay at used clothing stores. Also, I don't do well with lots of choices. With used clothing...there is a small section of clothing designated for my size...so if its cute...AND it fits...AND the price is right, less choices make for easier decisions. Also the joy of there being new and different things each time I enter the store. I begin this ideal tomorrow.

#5...Buy all clothes previously owned, if possible.
(with the exception of swimsuits, socks, and underpants!)

Ok Go

I'm thankful for friends like Shasta, who know how to encourage me in my faith. Here is a passage she merely pointed to, and laid in front of me while I was on the phone.

"I remember when I was first preparing to go to Sudan, a nation impoverished by years of civil war. The trip was going to cost me around $3000. It wasn't easy to travel into Sudan since they were still at war, and we would have to charter a plane and spend a few extra days to make that happen. I remember one dear lady in the church coming up to me and asking, 'Why don't you just send the three thousand dollars to the people in Sudan? Wouldn't that be a better use of money than your spending a week and a half with them? Think of how far that money could go.'
I wrestled with that question. Was I wasting these funds in order to go when I could simply give the money instead? Should I even be going? I continued wrestling with that question until I got to Sudan. There I had a conversation with Andrew that shed some light on the question.
Andrew was sharing with me about his life in Sudan over the last twenty years. He had known war since he was born, and he described facets of the suffering and persecution his people had been through. He told me about the various groups, most of them secular or government organizations, who had brought supplies to them during that time, and he expressed thanks for the generosity of so many people.
But then he looked at me and asked, 'Even in light of all these things that people have given us, do you want to know how you can tell who a true brother is?'
I leaned forward and asked, 'How?'
He responded, 'A true brother comes to be with you in your time of need.' Then he looked me in the eye and said, 'David, you are a true brother. Thanks for coming to be with us.'"

...my preacher always says, "You can go, or you can send, but you can't do neither".

...and mom, of course I'm scared. You think I'm not, but I still get afraid on trips. Even after all the taking care of me God has done. But i know that His ways are not my ways. And all the scary things my mind can dream up like plane crashes, and sickness, and being stranded. Those all abide inside the Will of God. He knows what He is doing and He can choose to protect me just as easy as He could choose to allow those things to happen.

And I was just complaining the other day how I'm young and single and healthy and I don't know why God has me in the suburbs in TEXAS. But what good is having that liberty if I don't use it?

I think this is a good opportunity. I would be honored to have your support in prayer.

Opportunity Knocks

Oh goodness. How come my life is one crazy decision after another? I'm beginning to think that is just how life is, and always will be? I have an opportunity to go work with teachers in Zambia improve their teaching strategies over Thanksgiving break. I have to make my decision TOMORROW! It's $3000. I keep jumping back and forth over the fence on this one. Most of the good stories in my life have come from peer pressured, oh so-impossible-sounding situations.

Should I stay or should I go??