Marley

So I got to meet little "Lucky" this weekend. Thought long and hard about bringing him home with me, but in the end, decided he would be a better baby for my mother right now. After being in a dog mood, I watched "Marley and Me" tonight. If you've never seen this movie, you should. It's so good for so many reasons. The story has so many levels to it. Yes it's about a puppy...but more importantly it's about an era in the life cycle of this couple, and how the dog grows along with them. The movie is really about family...and Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson have such chemistry together...it can be hard to remember that it's just a movie and not want for that.

I'm so curious how the story of my life will turn out. I'm so curious to know if there is someone I could have chemistry with, that I could go through the growth of getting a puppy with, moving with, buying a house with, starting a career with, raising kids with. Just wonder what pleasures on this earth are in store for me. Perhaps they are nothing like the aforementioned list. Perhaps they are. Either way, that movie really makes me want to embrace growing up. Makes me want to get the last of these dreams of my youth out of my system so I can plant new ones. Happy Easter to you!

"Lucky" or "Babe"

I can't wait to go to my parents this weekend. And hang out with this little guy my mom found in the woods.

I'm so excited for the day I get a dog. I think after I get moved and settled....and a job with  normal hours...within a normal distance from my living space...I'll be ready for a pup of my own. She'll be the best dog ever I just know it!

And now for the latest Hyperboleandahalf .....HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAHAAAAAA!!!
Click on link.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/04/wild-animal-simple-dog-goes-for-joy.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Hyperbole-and-a-half+%28Hyperbole-And-A-Half%29

Growth

It's amazing how you can go through life, and you think you are growing. Maybe you conquer a fear here, or survive a rough time there? Maybe you accomplish something really big, or take a giant step? And then...when you least expect it...something will come along and remind that you're no further from where you started. Some little instance happens...and suddenly you are sent back inside the body of the person you used to be--that you didn't like, that you've worked relentlessly to change and forget.

I put a lot of blame on my circumstances. I tend to think, "If I could only ______, then I would  _____". Insert whatever you want here. If I could only move away, then I would find myself. If I could only get out of coaching, then I would become a really great teacher. If I could only live on my own, then I would know how to make my own choices. If I could only get through one more year, then the world will be my oyster.

I tire of waiting. I tire of blaming. I could use a little guidance, Lord. I feel lost in a big pile of questions, and I could use some answers if You're listening.

TOYS!!!

Get ready, I'm about to sound materialistic and frivolous. Which I am to some degree, but I don't spend a ton of money outside concerts and plane tickets so lay off. Just a warning, I'm probably about to sound like a 12yr. old but I'm okay with that you know why? The 12yr. olds I know are a thousand times more active than I am so I think there is a thing or two to be learned there...


First of all, I just bought these hot rollers at walmart the other day and they are amazeballs. I haven't used hot rollers since high school, and I forgot how both 1.easy they are, and 2. bigtime voluminous they make my getting longer hair. LOVE THEM.

I'd really like to get a dslr camera. My little Nikon cool pix point and shoot has served its time weening me into fancier cameras...but I still can't change lenses and flash with it like I could with a dslr. Now which to choose? My photography teacher says that Cannon and Nikon are the Ford and Chevy of cameras. Hmmm which to choose?

It's roller derby season! After seeing "Whip It" I really wanted to find a roller derby team to try out for...but then I went with Darby and Randy to see an actual Roller Derby in Austin and well, those girls would totally kick my teeth in. They were kinda big and vicious. And I'm not looking to be in a body cast anytime soon, however, skates are cool and I would LOVE to have some outdoor skates! Real skates not roller blades. Roller blades are dumb.

I WANT TO LEARN THE PIANO!!!! I'm sure it wouldn't cost all that much to just get a basic little keyboard right? Every time I listen to Ben Folds I wonder how hard some of his songs would be to play. I love the piano. I also love the violin, but I've already taken piano lessons, so all I would need is some good old fashioned practice!

I remember my friend Gunnar had one of these at his house in high school. He was a wake boarder so I guess he used it for balance. But, it was so fun to try to balance and wobble back and forth on it. Fun for party's, for for standing around and talking, just fun. Where do you even buy one of these in Texas?

I've wanted a skateboard since about my 8th grade year in middle school. Sometimes in L.A. I get to ride Toby's long board and it is SO fun. I'd love to get good at it and be able to coast around anywhere.

Also, I've been on a big Radiohead kick lately. Couldn't embed this video but click on the link below for a good time and one of my favorites.

http://youtu.be/GoLJJRIWCLU

Whoa.

The final Saturday school was this morning (thank goodness), which means I revert to my college kid ways and get out of bed 20 minutes before I have to be in the car. This choice leads me to the over sized old pink shirt left in my drawer from after 2 weeks without laundry, the jeans I wore yesterday, and my greasy hair in a ponytail because hey, it's 8th graders and coworkers, who cares what I look like right?

A few fellow teachers and I decide to go to Frankie's afterwards to grab some lunch. I was the first to arrive, so I walk in and scan the room for an open table, preferably one next to a wall because I don't like having my back to people. I never, ever notice other people in a restaurant. I'm not a people watcher. I'm not checking out guys at the bar. And, honestly I'm just not that observant...I'm pretty A to B all the time, rarely multitasking.

So I find my little spot in the corner and get ready for others to come in. When I set my purse down and pick my head up what do I see? That's right...Jon. Sitting about 3 tables in front of me with his Rangers shirt on. Smiling. Laughing. I think he might have even lost weight? Either way he looked good. I haven't seen him in almost 2 years. I must have walked right past him! Did he notice me? Was he just as uncomfortable? All I really wanted was to run up and hug him, find out how he's been doing, see if he wanted to catch up later!

But I didn't...... Instead, I panicked, like shaky panicked, called my teacher friends and told them we had to go somewhere else, and walked out. I just kept reading his last email over and over in my mind, "I'm 100% sure I don't want any contact with you ever again". I almost even sent him an email when I got home. Almost sent him a text. But, talked myself out of it because neither of those actions would be respecting his wishes. I wish things hadn't ended so poorly between us. I bet we are both different people now. Or maybe we're not? ...But it's too bad we can't find out. I learned so much from him. He was truly the most honest person I have ever met to this day. I admired that part of his character so much that I feel like that was a lesson he taught me.

So here I am venting to a computer screen. Confessing that I haven't got it all figured out. A couple of years ago I thought I did. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted, what I was doing, and where I wanted to end up. But having choked myself on a big spoon full of some pride since then, now I'm not so sure. I actually act pretty stupid around boys. I never know what to do with myself and have a habit of putting my foot in my mouth. Perhaps that's why the only boyfriends I've ever had were best friends first, because they stuck around long enough for me to get past that and find comfort.

And, I wonder where God fits into all of this. What was the purpose of seeing him today? Was I supposed to talk to him? Was I supposed to attempt to make amends? Was this some sort of test? I mean, God knows what He's doing with people's paths right? There isn't an atom on the planet that doesn't go unnoticed and submit to His will and allowance right? So me in my vulnerable state...where did that come from today? Was that supposed to bring up fond memories and make me wish and wonder?

Who knows? I still feel deep down that God designed the man to pursue the woman, and not the other way around. But then again, I am 29 and single so what do I know? Weird day. Glad church is tonight. I need time with the people who remind me I'm not crazy. I need my thoughts re-centered.

Surf

I saw "Soul Surfer" last night. It was SO good I can't wait to see it again. Mom, you'll really like it, maybe I'll come down there soon and we can go see it. Bethany Hamilton is so inspirational!
And what do you know?! I was cleaning out the garage today and found and old disc someone had made for me when I was in Costa Rica...they photographed the very first time I ever caught a wave during the very first day I ever tried surfing. This would have been summer 2005. Just a warning, I am chuuuunkkyyyy in these pics. I remember I gained a lot of weight when I was there, just not sure how much....but if there is ever a motivator for working out...it's pictures of yourself!!!

Look how small the wave is...can you even call that a wave?

Hello super-sized thighs!

That's Jess in the bottom middle.

Captain Random

For two days in a row I administered the TAKS test. I don't know if you've ever sat/walked around staring at the same thing for 7 hours in a row, but it's more exhausting than it sounds. We are not allowed to read, draw, use a computer, grade a paper, nothing but watching kids take test. I snuck in a series of to-do lists I would add to as my mind wandered...and here are a few random thoughts for you.

1. I am such a t-shirt and jeans girl, but that doesn't mean that I don't like dresses. I LOVE dresses. I think girls in dresses look so cool, so I've decided to be one of those girls who wears dresses. And not like someone who wears one so rarely that when you do everyone who knows you is like, "Whooooa who died?". I'd like to intermittently weave them throughout my wardrobe because A) Dresses are pretty and girly and B) In the Texas heat, dresses trump shorts any day because it's sort of our gender's getting away with wearing the equivalent of a really long t-shirt around. So I splurged and bought myself two dresses from Target. (I love you Target). Perhaps I will model them for you on a day when I didn't work Saturday school sans shower.

2. Apostrophes are useless. Go ahead and argue with me but you know every time you are about to text, write, or type you secretly, instantly think to yourself..."Dammit apostrophe, now I have to go and feel around for the shift key PLUS wherever the crap YOU are...". Everyone knows what "Dont", "Cant", "Its", all means. That typo never hurt anyone aside from English class. So apostrophe, I see you as pointless and stupid...but I'll still find you, because I'm a rule follower and I despise coming across uneducated.

3. I got Fleet Foxes tickets and am so excited. I love that band. If you get their latest on itunes, my favorites are #3, 8, and 10. I know this because I regularly still listen to cd's in my ipod-absent car.

4. Mowing the yard is something I usually dread and put off, but I don't know why I act this way, because it's sort of relaxing. It gives me time to sort my thoughts and I love the feeling of getting cleaned up after you've been outside working!

5. Parasites was part of the Unit I taught last week. SICK. I almost barfed more than once. I'll spare you from posting pictures of THOSE. But there was a semi-interesting one called the Lancet Liver Fluke. It's a parasite that gets inside the brain of an ant. During the day it allows the ant to frolic and work and make babies and whatever ants do...BUT AT NIGHT, it somehow literally controls the ant's nervous system. And, like a zombie it makes the ant crawl to the top of a blade of grass so that it will be quickly eaten by some sort of herbivore, because herbivores usually feed at night time for safety and I suppose the parasite is intelligent enough to  know the feeding hours of herbivores. Once the parasite is inside the herbivore it goes into it's larval stage. Gross. I had a hard time eating or touching ANYTHING last week.

That's all folks.